yesterday i went to the OB to get my annual and to discuss my ovulation problems and my heart broke. we started to discuss metformin (something i was not happy taking), and i asked if there was something else that i could take, and of course there isnt, so we decided to hold off on continuing it and to just let nature take its course.
so of course the tears start coming when she asked me if i was wanting to get pregnant. OF COURSE is what i wanted to say, but i couldn't. cameron is not ready he says, and i am not that girl to go behind his back and get pregnant. although i KNOW he would be happy but he would be worried as well. so i simply said i am not looking to get pregnant now.lie. but i need to know that i can get pregnant again in the future.future being a few months hopefully *wink*.
so i get in the car after the dr appt and call cameron and start crying. i tried to explain to him that its really hard to hear that i need intervention to get pregnant. it makes me feel less of a woman, less of a partner, less of mother. it hurts not being able to give my fiance another child, it hurts not being able to give travis a sibling, and it hurts not knowing if i will ever be able to bring another little miracle into the world. BUT. my dr gave me hope by saying clomid has been known to help women with pcos, if that doesnt work then there is always Invetro or IUI.
just keep praying that all these tears and prayers turn into a beautiful child. soon!
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I will be praying for you. I'm so sorry to hear you are battling with the ever so popular pcos. I have it too and I completely feel your pain. It sucks to have to have help to make a baby. It should be nature, it should just be able to happen.
ReplyDeleteYour in my prayers.
I feel THE EXACT same way as you...I want to give my son a sibling so badly! I too feel inadequate - who would have thought that having baby #2 would be so darn hard!
ReplyDeleteYou'll be in my prayers.